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TMZ Sports is reporting skin specialist Dawn DaLuise is being held on $1 Million bail for solicitation to commit murder. DaLuise bragged about hiring former Detroit Lions offensive linemen, Chris Geile to kill his rival in the skin care industry… When Daluise was asked why the plan was not executed, he said, “momma always said, if want something done right, you gotta hire a Green Bay Packer”.

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A rather risque photo of iCarly star Jennette McCurdy was leaked. McCurdy believes this photo was leaked by NBA baller, Andre Drummond, from the Detroit Pistons. However, Drummond strongly denies being responsible for this development… When McCurdy was asked if she thinks this will affect her career negatively, she replied, “No, I don’t want to name names, but we can’t all twerk on stage with a married man in front of millions of people to jump start our adult careers”. – iCarly fans keep your eyes open for her new show, R-Rated-Carly’s BFF!

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Santa Monica Assemblyman Richard Bloom has proposed a bill that would ban the orca show in Shamu stadium at Sea World. Many California politicians oppose the idea for several reasons, mainly for it’s local significance on the job market… Bloom recently said, “bad things can happen when a whale is confined to a small place, just ask New Jersey Governor Chris Christie”.

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NOTHING AFTER THE (…) IS FACTUAL. THEY ARE JOKES PEOPLE!

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